Lately I've been feeling anxious. I've been drinking a lot of water, trying to suppress the cough, which starts as an itch in my throat, and then gradually becomes a violent surge of spew and bile, backed into a space I can no longer contain. This is the first I've been sick, I mean significantly sick, for a long time. In fact it's probably been close to or over a year since the last time.
I long to be in those places that act as temporal gateways to other destinations. Train stations, airports, I wish I were there in the midst of the shuffling crowds that rush and assemble into queue, waiting to depart. I want to be there, if only to watch them say goodbye to each other as they board. But if it were possible, I wouldn't mind being the one who boards, either, regardless of where I'm going, so long as I'm moving, towards or away, it doesn't matter. I just want to feel again what it's like to be in transit, to be in between, even though in a way, I always am. But to physically be there brings me closer to that emotion.
And I need job.
A job.
I need.
A job.
Keep me away from these loud ass bitches.
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