I am struck with a sudden lack of creativity, like blunt trauma leaving me incapacitated. Putting ideas on paper becomes an arduous task, and the ones that make it as written words seem forced and contrived. There had to have been some time in my life when the act of creating something was easier and more natural for me. But now it seems that as time passes, that stream of creativity is getting clogged - the flow is stopped by mental pollution, distractions that require my immediate attention, while simultaneously depriving my mind of conscious thought. I think I just need some inspiration - some mental laxatives to stimulate these mind grapes, get them churning, until purple oozes from my every pore.
Something strange happens after dark. The weariness I feel during the day dissipates at a certain point and suddenly my waking mind is renewed, yet counter intuitively, productivity levels drop immensely, to unfathomable depths. You can't really call it insomnia, though. I end up getting my fair share of hours worth of sleep one way or another, just never at a time that's convenient or conducive to this idea of 'productivity' that my lifestyle just can't seem to sync with.
I still have some growing up to do.
It's gonna get colder before it's warm again.
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